some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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