question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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