all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize