With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
