in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
