we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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