Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
this is an emotional support booty call
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
