I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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