I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
