I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
