Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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