My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
