I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
