Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize