i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
