i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Randomize
