i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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