how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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