Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Nicole vs. Life
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
