take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
