I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
