if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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