When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
