Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
