If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize