her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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