I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
