how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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