its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
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i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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