So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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