just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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