We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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