I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
