PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
