Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
