You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
