Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
