careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
