Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
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I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
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So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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