I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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