Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
