so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
