Well apparently he's into motor boating.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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