I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
