pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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