He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just high enough for therapy.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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