like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
