i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
