You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
