I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
