ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
that may or may not have been my penis.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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