At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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