I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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