It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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