Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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