We're facebook friends in real life
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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