you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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