I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
