it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Fuck appropriateness.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
