do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
