Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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