I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
